Every year
by XxStephXx
Summary: She left him 4 years ago, but returns on their anniversary every year. The fourth year she doesn't show. He looks for her and finds more than he could have ever imagined. LJ


**Every year…**

Lily and James. They were the perfect couple at school. They had fought for years and in their last year, they had finally got together. They got married a year after school ended, a big white wedding. They were both trained Aurors, two of the best. So to the outside world they were the perfect couple.

They were the perfect couple, even after 5 years of marriage. They were still madly in love and couldn't keep their hands off each other. But then it happened just a few months after announcing that they were expecting their first baby, they were attacked.

Despite their best efforts, both barely escaped with their lives. Their unborn child wasn't so lucky. Lily miscarried and was told that it was unlikely she would ever be able to have children.

James came from an old pureblood family. In their eyes it was bad enough that he had married a muggle born but now that there would be no heir, it was too much. Despite hanging on for another year, the pressure got to Lily and she left James on their 6 year wedding anniversary. That was 4 years ago.

Neither of them had ever recovered or gotten over each other. And so every year on their wedding anniversary, they met at the hotel they spent their honeymoon. Room 241 every year. Neither of them spoke. They made love like they had done all those years ago. Then they would sleep and whoever was first to awake was first to leave. They never acknowledged each other. And it went on for 3 years but on the fourth…she didn't show.

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JAMES POV

Lily didn't show. Why didn't she show? She always did. Is she dead? Could she be dead? Would anyone tell me or contact me if she was killed? I'm legally still her husband. I would know if she was dead, I would just know.

I had to find my wife. After 4 years, I had to track down my wife.

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3 MONTHS LATER

This was it. He was standing in front of a house in a suburb on the outskirts of Liverpool. She could be living with someone, she could be engaged. It certainly wasn't a neighborhood a single woman would live in alone. It had white picket, a swing park at the end of the street, and an ice cream van going past every few hours. It was the sort of place someone who had children or was planning on having them soon would live. He had to brace himself for the fact that she had moved on.

It had taken him so long to track her down. He had to bribe a ministry official to track down some of her old school friends. He couldn't track her down because she was an Auror, it was damn near impossible to track down an Auror. So he had to find all her old friends and hope someone had kept in contact with her. After 3 months he had gotten lucky, Alice Longbottom was willing to give him her address.

So here he was. He had to go in. He had to try and put this behind him, like Lily had. But he just didn't think he could get over Lily, she was his wife. He still loved her with all his heart, he still thought of her every morning when he woke up and she wasn't there. He still ached for her every single day. He missed her more than he ever knew he could miss anyone. It was like there was a huge part of him missing.

He had started dating a year and a half after she left him. But to be honest it hadn't really lasted, he hated pretending to other women that he was remotely interested in them. In the past four years he had been on 6 dates.

But now he had to face her again. The love of his life. The woman that had broken his heart into a million pieces. His wife.

So he took a deep breath and walked up the garden path. Before he could talk himself out of it he rang the doorbell.

He could hear the footsteps. He couldn't believe it after 4 years he was going to talk to Lily. The footsteps came closer, and then the front door opened and there she was.

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LILY'S POV

I gasped, I heard myself gasp. I was in complete shock. James was on my doorstep. JAMES, RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME. I felt like my legs were about to give way. I gripped onto the doorway to hold myself up.

"Lily…"

Just hearing his voice, that's all it took to bring back all the memories.

"Uh…um…" I said very eloquently.

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GENERAL POV

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," said James quietly. He quickly stole a look at her face then looked away before he added: "And alive."

"Uh…" Lily still wasn't capable of saying much. James was the last person she was expecting to see.

"Now that I have, I'll just be going," he said embarrassedly.

Before he could turn away he heard it. A baby's cries.

"Y…you had a…" said James, feeling physical pain. She had had someone else's baby. After everything they had gone through. She had had a baby with someone else. That was something he knew there and then he would never, ever get over.

"Do you want to come inside?" said Lily, regaining her ability to speak. "It's about time we…talk about…stuff."

She wanted a divorce. That is the only thing that came into his head. She'd had a baby with someone else, and she wanted to marry him. She had a family that he wasn't a part of, and she wanted a divorce. Could she have hurt him anymore?

"…Okay," he winced.

Lily opened the front door and showed him into the kitchen. The baby was still crying.

"I have to go and see him. Make yourself at home," she said before leaving him alone in the kitchen and going upstairs.

James looked round the kitchen, and it was definitely Lily's. It was spotless. There was no doubt that the baby was hers. There were bottles drying on the draining board, a sterilizer next to the fridge, and box of nappies balanced in the corner.

Lily came back into the room a few minutes later. She had put baby Harry in his travel cot in the living room with his music box playing to soothe him.

"Sorry about that," she said.

"That's alright," he said quietly. "You have responsibilities."

"Yeah, I do," said Lily. "I guess you're here because I didn't show at…"

"Yeah, I was worried. We have a dangerous job, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," said James.

"I am. I'm better than okay…"

"So I see. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," said Lily, she had to tell him. She knew she did. She couldn't let him leave without knowing he had a son. "How have you been James?"

"I've been…alright."

"Good," said Lily taking a deep breath. "James I need to tell you something."

Here it comes. She was going to tell him about her fiancé and ask him for a divorce.

"You…you don't have to tell me all about it. It's less painful that way. I'll file and send the papers on…"

"File?" said Lily confused. Maybe he already knew about Harry and his family wanted custody. "You can't…I won't let you take him."

"Take him? I'm not going to hurt him, I'm tempted but if he makes you happy…" said James, confused.

"Hurt him? James, what are you talking about?"

"Your fiancé."

"My what?!" shouted Lily in shock, causing Harry to start screaming again. "Hold on."

"I don't have a fiancé," she sighed when she came back into the kitchen, rocking Harry in her arms.

"Y…you don't?"

"No, I don't."

"James, I think you should just shut up and let me tell me what I have to tell you while I still can," said Lily, shushing Harry while gently rocking him.

"Okay," said James painfully.

"Last year when I saw…when we. Last year after…the last time I saw you. It was just the same as the past few times, I was weird for a few weeks then I went back to normal. Only I didn't, I started getting sick. I found out I was pregnant, but my boyfriend and I hadn't slept together. Needless to say we split up. And on July 31st I went into labor…"

"So…wait a minute…you're saying…"

"James, meet your son," said Lily, coming closer so he could see the baby in her arms.

He just looked at him. The baby was the spitting image of him, except the eyes he had his mother's green eyes. He was perfect. James' heart was beating so fast, it couldn't be healthy. He was suddenly overcome with such a powerful surge of love it scared him a little. But somehow he was unable to convey all these feelings in his voice or his face.

"Can I?" he asked numbly, holding out his arms for the baby.

"Of course," said Lily. He hadn't said anything, or showed any indication of any emotion. She gently placed Harry into his arms.

James sat gently rocking Harry in his arms for about ten minutes, not saying a word, and not taking his eyes off his son.

"James…say something please," said Lily. She couldn't take the silence, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Maybe he had changed in the past 4 years. She didn't know how he was going to react.

"He's… uh, fallen asleep. Is there somewhere I can put him down?" said James, still not taking his eyes off his son.

"Um…yeah his cot is upstairs, follow me," said Lily.

So James followed Lily up to Harry's room. He tenderly pressed a kiss the top of the baby's head, and then gently laid him down. He pulled a blanket over him, and stood back.

"You should have told me," he said quietly.

"I know," responded Lily, the guilt evident in her voice. "Come downstairs, I don't want to wake him."

James followed her down to the kitchen again. He had no idea what to say or how to be. How could she not have told him? Children had been what had torn their marriage apart in the first place, and now they had a son. He should have been told. He should have found her sooner. He should have never let her leave in her first place.

"This has just been kinda sprung on you," said Lily, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Yeah it has," he said, then he looked straight into her eyes and asked the question he wanted to ask for 4 years. "Why?"

"I tried to get in contact when I found out, I really did," said Lily, desperate for him to believe her. "I tried to contact Sirius, Remus, Peter, even some of your family. I tried, I really did. But I couldn't find any of them, everyone is too well protected now."

"I found you," he pointed out.

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you show? You knew I would be there," he asked.

"I started to think maybe it wasn't meant to be. You were probably happy, and getting on with your life. The last thing you needed was an ex wife…"

"Legally, you're still my wife."

"I know. But the last thing you needed was me showing up with a baby, telling you it's yours."

"He is mine. Anyone could tell that just by looking at him."

"I know, he even has the same wild hair as you," said Lily with a loving smile on her face.

"He's perfect. He has your eyes."

"He does. It's the only way you can tell him apart from your baby pictures," said Lily fondly.

"Were you ever going to tell me about him?"

"I don't know," sighed Lily.

"I have a son, we have a son together," said James, still in shock.

"Yeah."

"But I thought you…we couldn't…"

"I didn't think so either. There was a one in a million chance of it happening," said Lily, looking up at James. He was still staring straight at her.

"But it happened?"

"Yeah it happened."

"You should have told me. You should have came to the hotel and told me. I thought you were dead."

"I'm sorry."

"Do you have any idea what the past 4 years have been like for me without you?" James said, not shouting but certainly angry. "Do you know how it feels to be left alone? To feel numb every single day? To miss your wife every day for 4 years? To think that she might be dead? And then to find out…"

"I'm sorry."

"So you've already said," snapped James, "But sorry just doesn't cut it."

"What else am I supposed to say? What do you want me to say? I can't change what is done and I don't know what to do," shouted Lily, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Well neither do I," he shouted back.

"James just go," she sobbed.

"What?"

"Leave! Go home. You should never have come here in the first place." said Lily, slouching down on the wall, crying.

"Lily…" he said softer. He hadn't meant to do this to her.

"GO!" she shouted, through her sobs.

"I can't…" he said, kneeling down next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No, don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Don't touch me! You can't touch me!"

"Why?"

"Because when you hold me everything goes fuzzy and I…I can't handle it anymore!"

"Fuzzy?" he said pulling her shaking body into his arms. "I don't think that. When I hold you everything suddenly feels right, the way it's meant to be."

"It confuses me," she sobbed, allowing him to hold her.

"Why? Why does this confuse you so much?" he whispered softly, kissing the top of her head, cherishing the feeling of holding her again.

"Because it's makes me want what I can't have," she sniffled.

"And what's that?"

"My husband."

"You've always had me. Always," he whispered pulling her into his lap and letting her cry.

"But I left…You…And…"

"And nothing…"

"I—I thought I leaving would make you happy…"

"Never…without you…I couldn't be happy."

"I thought you wanted a pureblood that could give you the big family you always wanted and I wanted to give you that. It just took me so long to let you go," she said, cuddling into the nook of his neck.

"I never said I wanted that. I spent a year telling you the complete opposite," he said, stroking her hair.

"I thought you just felt obligated, because I was your wife and the vows," she said, still comfortably nestled in his neck.

"No. I never loved you out of obligation, never."

"Really?"

"Really. I wanted a children, of course I did, but without you…I didn't have a family. I didn't have anything."

And so they sat there just enjoying being with each other again. "All the years apart didn't matter anymore. There was only the two of them. They allowed themselves to just enjoy having each other so close, and knowing that they didn't have to leave each other ever. Little did they know, they had never left each other. Not really. A love like theirs could never be destroyed not even by themselves. Then they got up and started their lives over again with their son.

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I really need to thank my beta mystrymoviebrunette for beta-ing this for me. She actually wrote a few lines. So thank you I couldn't have done it without you.


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